Life for me has always been a series of cold moments with warm | امیررضا لطفی‌پناه

Life for me has always been a series of cold moments with warm and bright spotlights in-between. All the achievements, the victories, the good memories, and the things that gave me butterflies in my stomach helped me keep going, but they were always overshadowed by all the times I got left behind, the times my heart was broken, the times I got hurt, and the times I hated myself.
I've always been fighting battles that were much stronger than me ever since I was born, and I've lost way more than I've won. My most distant memories aren't sweet and warm ones, they're bitter and cold and I hate to think about them. But those warm moments, when I do get the upper hand in my battles, sometimes they burn so brightly that I forget all the cold ones.
Now that I'm typing these words, I'm thinking about how I left my family and friends behind, my home and everything else, and moved to a different country three years ago. Was that a bright moment? Or was it one of the cold ones? Three years is not a long time, and at the same time, it's not a short time either; it's so long when I think about sadness and cold, and it's so extremely short when I think about warmth and happiness. The only questions that remain are the only ones that I have no answer for. How will it be from now on? How will things turn out? And how will I feel? Warm to the heart, or cold to the bones? And to be honest, I'm tired of feeling cold.
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March 31st, 2022, Amir
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@amirreza_lotfipanah