ew cooker, this wouldn't have happened. The old one wouldn't h | Englishhomefast

ew cooker, this wouldn't have happened.
The old one wouldn't have blowed up, you're_ are useless, absolutely useless.
I'm sick to death of you.
' Well she went on, and on, and on,and on, 'til the tailor turned, and said, 'oh, i wish i'd bought you a new cooker.
' [Whooshing noise] and there, was a brand new shining cooker, white and gleaming.
'Wh_ what's going on.
' Said his wife.
'Wh- what on earth's happened.
' Well, of course the tailor had to explain to her.
That he'd met the devil, in the pub, and he'd given him three wishes and... 'Three wishes, oh well thank God there were three, there's still two more.
Now look here, my, um, my man.
' She said, 'you get safely up to bed there, and don't you wish for another thing, 'til we get together in the morning, and we decide how to spend these two wishes.
Up you go.
'So, the tailor goes up to bed.
He falls into bed, and he goes sound asleep.
When he wakes in the morning, he has forgotten, completely about those three wishes.
And he goes into the bathroom, and he turns on the hot tap.
Ugh.
No hot water.
Why.
Well, he hasn't paid the bill, has he.
No hot water in the house.
Oh, darn it all.
He turns on the cold tap, splashes his face, " ho ho ho.
Oh gosh, this is cold, i wish i'd paid that bill.
&Quot; [whooshing noise] suddenly hot water is pouring from the hot tap.
'Oh no,' he said, 'i've used my second wish, what am i going to do.
' Well of course he had to tell his wife, who said, 'now look here.
You keep that wish, you don't use it.
You don't use it.
Because, i'm sick to death of this, and the day may come, who knows, the day may come when i might be dying, or the children might be dying, and we need that wish.
Now, i'm going to give you a bit of advice.
You go down to the village, and you see the wise woman, and get some good advice from her.
Because, i'm sick to death, of not hav_ hardly having a crumb to put between my children's lips.
'So, the tailor goes down to the wise woman.
And she talks to him.
And she says, 'now look, all you want in life is to be healthy, and to be wealthy.
And if you could be those two things, you might learn a little bit of wisdom.
Now you just go back, and i want to hear about you, getting up first thing in the morning, and getting on with your work.
And taking proper measer_ meas_ measurements.
And getting that scissors of yours sharpened, and doing a good job.
Right.
' Well the tailor, has learnt his lesson, and back he goes.
And, would you believe it, yes, he's up at the crack of dawn the next day, and he's sharpened his lisso- scissors, and the first client to come in the door, he takes good measurements.
And, he does a good job.
And he gets paid a little bit more than usual.
Because it's a lovely suit there, that he's made.
And gradually he accrues some money, and he buys some better suiting, and better cloth.
And, the family grow up, and sooner or later, the sons join the business, and there's Tailor and Sons, written above the doorway.
And all is happy and well.
And that third wish is still unused, and safely guarded, by the wife.
Well, the days pass.
The weeks pass.
The months pass.
The years pass.
In fact, twenty-five years passed.
And there's a knock, at the door.
As you can guess, the tailor by this time, has completely forgotten.
He goes to the door, and there's a very tall, impressive-looking gentleman.
With a black hat, and a black cloak.
And as he looks down at his feet.
What does he see, but cloven hooves.
'Um, oh, y_ uh, well yes.
Oh, ha ha, i remember you, yes, do come in.
Do come in, ha ha.
Would you like me to make you a new cloak, or a_ or a fancy waistcoat perhaps, ha ha.
To impress them down below, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Well wh_ what can i do for you.
' 'Twenty-five years.
' Says the devil, 'i have come for you.
You've had your three wishes, have you not.
' 'Ubd_ oh, uh, well no, as, as a matter of fact, i haven't.
' 'You haven't.
' Says the devil.
'What do you mean you haven't.
I gave you three wishes.
You mean, you_ you've not used them.
' 'Well, uh, huh, uh, no, um, i, i used the first two, um, yes, a beautiful new cook